You know, as I marked a quarter century on this earth, I can look back on everything the twelve months of 2025 threw my way and say with confidence I aged a solid decade in one year. This was without question one of the more turbulent years of my life. It taught me a lot without question, but while I carry a strong sense of determination into 2026, I carry a sense of sadness too. There’s unfinished business, there’s unrealized potential, and there’s a disappointment in the feeling that this was the year I was supposed to finally take that next step and….I fell flat on my face. What do I mean?
16 WEEKS AND HEARTBREAK
On February 18, 2025, I walked into the New Haven Fire Academy as a member of Recruit Class 65. I had absolutely no idea what to expect and I found it very quickly an environment like that one is no joke. It is militant, very militant, and it threw me for a mental and emotional loop I wasn’t ready for.
Still, there was a dream to realize and anxiety, stress, and nervousness be damned, I was intent on realizing it. 23 weeks, from the brutal New England cold of February to the sweltering summer heat of July. That was what I needed to survive to get to the ultimate goal. First, there was EMT school. About 7 weeks in total. Lots of bookwork but in the end that was successful, I got my certification and I became an EMT.
Next up, Hazmat, only 1 week. Made it through that too. Passed and got my certification. Now, the last part: Fire 1 and 2. Physically, it was demanding. Extremely demanding. No surprise there. It’s the mental aspect of it that was toughest. If you know me, you know lack of familiarity with something can cause me to overthink.
That’s not something one can’t overcome, part of firefighting after all is learning to be comfortable in uncomfortable situations. That said I’ll admit, getting a lot thrown at you at once, most of it stuff you’d never done before in your life, was daunting. I was trying to grasp and understand these things, but in an environment that’s moving at what at times felt like warped speed where you’re in the blink of an eye onto the next steps while still trying to process the previous ones, time to learn these things is not exactly on your side. You either grasp them or you don’t.
You can’t exactly “fake it till you make it” in the fire service. Any deficiencies you possess can and will rear their ugly head. And when your job quite literally depends on helping others, up to and including saving their lives, deficiencies and weaknesses is not something you can afford to have in your repertoire. Those deficiencies and weaknesses could very well cost you or someone else’s life and that’s not hyperbole.
Despite all of that, I wasn’t going to quit. As my friend and colleague Rich Decker, a West Haven firefighter, had said to me in conversation: “There’s a pot of gold waiting on the other side.” Was I spent? Yes. But heading into Friday, June 13, 2025, I felt determined despite the circumstances to push through. Graduation was literally around the corner, I had survived to this point, I just needed to survive a tad more and voila, that pot of gold in the form of graduation would be right there.
We had a midterm that day and I had spent the week intensely studying for it. We had been doing hydrants that week too, and while day one of that was a struggle, again I had never done it before, ensuing days proved more successful. Live burns were around the corner set to begin the following Monday. I needed to be ready. Bookwork wise, my GPA was an 87%. If I passed my midterm, it would go even higher. Usually if we had a test, we would take it right after roll call at 8AM. I thought that would be the case on this day. Instead, we were out to the drill yard for more hydrant drills. Fair enough. There were roles within those drills I hadn’t had the opportunity to do yet anyway. One of them was as the nozzle man.
As I was getting set to be said nozzle man, I was told to take my gear off. I was off to the Chief’s office. You all know the story by now, that visit marked the end for me. The temporary death knell in a pursuit of a lifelong dream. I was told they weren’t going to move me forward in the academy. My physical strength was the concern. With just about 6 weeks to go to get to my goal, everything came crashing down.
I handled it diplomatically, disappointment is no excuse for disrespect and despite that sinking feeling, the best thing I could do in that moment was shake the Chief’s hand and express gratitude for the opportunity. I’m a man. Part of manhood, part of adulthood in general, is taking your lumps and moving yourself forward, no matter how devastating those lumps may be. The responsibilities in life are too much, too prescient to cry about your circumstances. I was not going to fall into that mental trap.
As I told one of my adjunct instructors, Lieutenant Joe Sullo, a good man and fire officer, on the personally solemn drive back from the Chief’s office to the academy to clear out my locker, no longer a New Haven recruit, but rather a reject for lack of a better way to word it, that the worst thing I could do is sulk. My exact words to be more specific were: “God hasn’t left me in the lurch before, he won’t leave me in the lurch now.” I still believe that. Why wouldn’t I? I’ve seen the good lord’s hand too many times in my life to ever doubt that. I certainly saw it again with this experience. Still, despite my determination and resolve, I am human. How can I not be saddened by such a development?
I’ll be honest, It absolutely sucks. As I see my former classmates now onto their respective assignments in firehouses throughout the city, there is always that sense of sadness hanging over my shoulder. Don’t get me wrong, I’m truly happy for them. They are loving the job and deservedly reaping the rewards of the hard work they put in during the academy. Naturally, I just wish I was with them. Every time I see them around either in person or social media, it awakens a brutally deep sense of longing within me. I’m not on the line, I’m not one of them.
Truth be told, that longing is not going to die until I kill it emphatically by actually graduating an academy and getting on the job. Nothing I do in my professional life no matter how cool it may be, is ever going to satisfy me to the level that becoming a career firefighter would. For now however, I am on the outside looking in. I am the dog next to the dinner table hoping for scraps to fall. The hanger on in the background. And I cannot begin to tell you just how much that aggravates the hell out of me. I still want that job. And after the bitter taste of how this particular chapter ended, I am even more determined and I will stop at nothing until I have it.
PICKING UP THE PIECES
You can’t just sink under earth and disappear when you fail, it is neither healthy or mature. Again, I’m a man. Disappointed and frustrated as I was, I needed to get back to work. It was the only way I was not going to go absolutely insane.
So, I resumed Mic’d in New Haven and with that writing as well. Doing the podcast again was in a sense both cathartic and relaxing. I’m the furthest thing from a public figure but it is not by any stretch to say I have an audience and I feel a deep sense of accountability to said audience.
In channeling that angst and energy into the program, I reached greater heights. I got results and got them in droves.
I have been doing podcasting for eight years and in those years I have learned a lot. I wish I could tell you there was a specific formula to follow to get to this point but honestly it’s just trial and error. I guess you could say part of the reason I want to be a first responder is because of the fact I’ve always been so passionate about telling their stories.
When I decided years ago to change the program from a sports one to a primarily first responders centric one, it was without question one of the better professional choices I could’ve made.
The doors that has opened up both on a professional level and personal level, locally and nationally, have been incredible. Are there still goals that I have with the program I’d personally like to very much achieve? Yes. You can always aim higher.
But I have been trying to do a better job as I get older of actually appreciating the progress I’ve made as opposed to focusing on the progress I have yet to make. I started this from nothing in 2017. Sitting on the edge of my bed with guests on speaker phone and my tablet recording everything. We’ve certainly come a long way.
Nearly a decade later, while I wouldn’t call myself a master of my craft, I find it vain and haughty to go that far, I feel very confident in saying I’m good at what I do in this realm. I prep like a madman for my interviews, I meticulously analyze all aspects of how the program is presented. Everything has been built through the utmost of precision and dedication.
That precision and dedication has fortunately gotten over 3,000 people on YouTube alone to decide my content is worth their regular viewing. That’s not counting all the others across other social media platforms or audio podcast outlets. It’s not lost on me how fortunate I am to connect with the people I have through the form of both guests and and an ever loyal audience that shockingly to me, keep coming back.
For all my flaws, and there are many, I guess what makes the show work is no matter what, I’ve always tried to approach things with pure honesty and just be myself. Most people luckily for me seem to like that. And for that, I’m grateful. There are grander leaps yet to be taken. But the ones made so far give me the confidence to take those others ones in the future. Ambition is only possible through both personal belief and successful results already achieved. The audience of the Mic’d In New Haven podcast has made both possible. Once again, my grateful heart says thank you.
THE STREET: A WORKING EMT’S LIFE
While as covered earlier, it was not what I originally envisioned, the fact is part two of my journey to climb towards a career I know I can have in the fire service can involve a more methodical approach. One of those steps is working EMS. These days in the fire department, even if you’re working in cities that get a decent amount of fires, a good majority of the calls you will go to will be EMS runs. It is the nature of the job and it’s only going to expand and hey, that’s ok. It’s still more than a noble opportunity to help people.
It would have been foolish to let newfound certification as an EMT go to waste, these skills needed to be put to good use. Where I live in New Haven, AMR, one of the leading ambulance providers in the country if not the world, is located about a mere five minutes from where I live. Thanks to some phone calls made on my behalf, I got the job as an EMT. So far, it’s been one hell of an eye opener.
The street, and the stream of calls that come with it are a continuous education on care and the ever complex dynamics involved with the human race. Within the constant mix of medicals, transfers, and assignments to different posts in the greater New Haven area, it takes a lot out of you. The hours are long, the calls at times can be draining, but it’s an education. And if your end goal is becoming a police officer or firefighter, working EMS is a very good place to start. From the serious and surreal, to the humorous, to the heartbreaking, the street is truly the best possible EMT class anybody can have.
Never was that more apparent than when I worked my first cardiac arrest call. It was a Sunday, about seven or eight hours into a 12-hour overnight tour. On what to that point had been a ho-hum shift, my partner and I had only done about four calls, none of them critical. It was close to 11 at night, we were on a standby post in the East Haven, Connecticut area. Laughing and joking around, my partner and I were having a blast just shooting the breeze when our laptop rang. Seconds later our unit number was called by dispatch. The address was soon sent out and off we went. A “priority one code for a person not breathing at all” was what it said in our call notes.
“You ever do this before?” Asked my partner. “Nope”, I replied. “You?” I asked in return. “No” she replied. Well, first time for everything. A call like this was bound to happen, it was simply a matter of time. Upon arrival, we ran in with both an AMR paramedic crew and the East Haven Fire Department, both of whom I cannot praise enough for how incredibly helpful they were on this call. All of us did everything we could to revive this person at both an EMT care and Paramedic care level. Sadly, on this night, a miracle was not in the cards. Despite the very best of our collective efforts, the individual died.
I don’t think surreal begins to describe it. When you work EMS, or have the ambition that I do to work Fire, you know a call of this nature is bound to find you. It’s not going to be the last time I respond to something like that by any means. But still, it was the first time, and the first time is never easy. Am I at peace knowing I did everything I possibly could for that person? Yes. There’s nothing looking back on that call that I can say I wish I could’ve done differently. Everything was about as by the book as it can get. Still, I watched someone die. That changes a man. That changes anyone. It is the pinnacle of the baptism by fire kind of world that being a first responder is.
As I work to grasp that ever elusive career in the fire service, the skills EMS has given me thus far are plentiful and undoubtedly a key guiding point as my journey presses on. High priority driving, managing a scene, and managing the personalities along with it. What to say, what not to say, and the most important trait of all: empathy. It may be another 911 call to you, but to your patient, it could very well be the worst day of their life. I’m quite literally learning on the fly, but I know what I’m learning will remain paramount to me throughout my career in emergency response.
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE EMERGENCY: DISPATCH
In addition to AMR, there’s another public safety component I’m involved in and that’s dispatch. Another eye opener in its own right. There’s so much more to the process than just simply picking up the call, hearing the emergency in question and sending out the appropriate resources. There’s several certifications involved and it’s a fast paced environment where breakneck speed isn’t just the norm, it’s a standard.
With over 100,000 calls for service yearly, I’ll be tasked with sending out fire, police, EMS, or in some cases all three, to the different situations they encounter on a day in, day out basis. It’s a responsibility that is daunting but given my communications background, one I felt keen on leaning in to.
It’s only begun in December, so everything remains new. What it will bring? I have no idea. But progress isn’t made in the comfort zone and much like working EMS, it’s an education that will only serve me well in my journey of not only trying to becoming a first responder, but understanding and advocating for them as I do through my journalistic work. I’m behind the mic yet again, but for an even grander purpose than a podcast, and as has been proven, that’s a position I’m quite comfortable in.
IN MEMORIAM: Jerry Garguilo (1950-2025)
As we get older, it is sadly inevitable people we know and care for will begin to pass away with a greater frequency. From illness to sudden deaths, these events leave us emptier each time. Such was the case when my friend Jerry Garguilo died suddenly of a cardiac related even on September 13, 2025.
A former guest of the podcast, and father of Joelle Garguilo, a reporter for WABC Channel 7 in New York City and a friend who I’ve turned to for media advice plenty a time over the years, Mr. Garguilo, a prosecutor, defense attorney, and finally Supreme Court Justice out on Suffolk County, Long Island, was of the old school.
His generation was one that was born and bred into hard work. Starting off working in the family bakery, Jerry learned the meaning of hard work from his parents, both of whom he spoke so highly of in my interview with him and whom he could not credit enough for where he would wind up in life.
It didn’t take long in chatting with Jerry to see how passionate he was about his work. To say he gave me an education on law in our conversation would be understating it, I definitely emerged smarter from that interview thanks to him. Yet, it was his family that meant way more. He cherished them and was prouder of them than he was of himself and all the grandiose things he had done in his incredible 74 years on this earth.
I wish I knew him better and more personally as others in his orbit did, but I am grateful nonetheless for the interactions I did have with him. We stayed in touch after his appearance on the show and I’m glad we did. Each time we spoke, he was a gentleman and if you knew nothing about him or his life, you wouldn’t have known about his stature and prominence. He carried himself humbly. It wasn’t the titles that defined him, it was the little things that define most of us: family, love, and honor. He had all of that. Rest in peace Jerry, I am a better person for our paths having crossed.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
This was without question the most chaotic and turbulent year of my life. I aimed high, I fell flat on my face, but in some senses I guess you can say I landed on my feet? Don’t get me wrong, part of me is grateful for the lessons learned for sure. But the other part of me would rather forget this year ever happened and simply move on.
Like the popular 90’s hit by Third Eye Blind, yours truly is really living a semi-charmed kind of life. Am I down? Not at all. Am I ambitious as ever and maybe a tad pissed off about what I don’t have? Oh yeah. I didn’t reach the summit in 2025. The only positive of that is it will motivate me all the more to reach for that brass ring again and attain it at last in 2026.
It’s not a matter of if I’m going to become a fireman, it’s when. And boy, do I look forward to writing that column when that moment finally comes.
Until then, I push forward. Trying to work as hard as I can towards my goals, ignoring the discouragement and keeping centered on the bigger picture. I will rise again and I refuse to be denied. Everything happens for a reason, and I look forward to the day when I can look back at the journey to reach my goal with appreciation for the challenges faced, and the pride of never having given up.
Mike Colón: semi-charmed and still kicking.
Mike Colón is the host of the Mic’d In New Haven Podcast which can be found on all podcast platforms and is simulcast in video form on YouTube
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